who cares?

i am a monkey

2012-01-03T15:56:00.002Z

I made this strange little animation today. I just wanted to use that line, I am a monkey and I like to climb trees. hope you enjoy it.

I AM A MONKEY AND I LIKE TO CLIMB TREES

paul's christmas message

2011-12-27T18:31:00.003Z

this is what happens if you eat alphabet soup best before 2004.

I said I wouldn't post until the new year. I lied.

if god was bored...

2011-12-22T20:01:00.001Z

I made this random stop motion. I might make a comic strip of the same name(but akin only in that respect)

freakin_merry_christmas

2011-12-19T13:22:00.001Z

this, I like.

merry christmas everyone!!!

2011-12-16T13:35:00.003Z

I made this christmas card then realised it was rather good so I thought I'd upload it here.

It should say "you can take him out" but my printer/scanner cut that bit off.

Merry Christmas, yep its early, but I won't be posting anymore (probably) til jan/feb, unless I suddenly make another good xmas cartoon.

M3RRY CHR1STM4S

weather forecast blooper

2011-12-10T15:55:00.000Z

this is funny.

The Fate of the Empire State Building

2011-12-04T18:12:00.001Z

a little cartoon I made today.

Animal Welfare

2011-12-03T17:02:00.000Z

A random cartoon I just made.

Toxic 3 Issue 1- The Zombie Pigeon

2011-11-27T11:01:00.016Z

I've been quite busy at the moment, so I haven't been able to stick this up, but eventually, here it is.

Lego stop motions

2011-11-21T17:01:00.002Z

I now have quite a few. I still do comics, soon I will be publishing a mini graphic novel called Toxic 3 but current news, in 5 days I will upload a truly blindingly awesome animation, The Dark Lord Cometh.

For now, catch up on my other stuff. My personal favourite is The M Factor Round 1.

My Channel

SPLOODBUG2

2011-09-22T14:27:00.001+01:00

Just the small matter of changing my blogger name. forget whatever my name was before.

sploodbug2

2011-08-30T20:26:00.000+01:00

this is me: sploodbug2

Origins of sayings # 2

2011-04-06T19:51:00.003+01:00

It is here!

coming soon: Day of the molluscs!

The origins of sayings 1

2011-03-27T17:48:00.003+01:00

Apoligies for the extreme lateness but I have been busy lately. here is a comic dotted with small mistakes... but good nonetheless (or at least I think so).
Mistake number one in that the title got chopped off by the scanner so I had to type it in. sorry. and mistake number two, in the last box... well you'll probably notice yourself. well, here it is, da- da da da...

The Cuttlefish Part the first

2011-03-01T21:09:00.004Z

the mis-spelling in the comic was deliberate. well, no it wasn't but I only noticed it was wrong when I'd already scanned it into the computer and I can't be bothered to correct it on Photoshop. So just pretend it's deliberate.

Soon I'll make part the second, but that may be a long time because I'm very busy you see.

The origin of Dave's

2011-02-21T16:28:00.003Z

there's a comics shop in the north laine in Brighton called Dave's Comics. I can't find anything about who Dave really was, if he existed/still exists. so most of the stuff in this comic is speculation, but the thing about it once being called David's book exchange is true. Well, here's the comic...

Ted's

2011-02-21T09:43:00.004Z

This is a comic I made when I got home from the Brighton 'Zine fest. It's called Ted's.

The It Thing

2011-02-20T09:38:00.005Z

I made this comic before the last one, but I only had the idea to put this up on the internet a second ago.

The tale of the very very annoying tiny octopus...

2011-02-19T21:25:00.004Z

This is a comic I made today.

Liked that? And here's page 2 of my epic comic...

And now there's the third and final page!

I'm going to sell this at the Brighton 'zine fayre tomorrow.

Taking the Metrocosy Pics

2010-07-29T20:32:00.006+01:00

These pictures are just some pictures I took that take the Metrocosy out of People.

Bye!

Do the Metrocosy

2010-07-28T20:14:00.002+01:00

I drink from their skull...
Do the metrocosy!
Pull out their teeth whole...
Do the metrocosy!
Turn teeth into charms...
Do the metrocosy!
Make flutes out of their arms!
doo doo doo doo

I am at this very moment on a sleepover at Jad's house.
"Hullo!"
yes, hello.
"Banana!"

Jad's house hazz a Giant Garden

2010-07-28T20:12:00.000+01:00

Jakob eez heer

2010-07-09T14:39:00.006+01:00

official blog post- 09 july 2010

Ok, no lie, Jakob actually is here. "hello!" see?

Bloody oil

Leo Rogers "and me" oh yes. and Jakob.

I bloody hate oil :O

2010-05-31T12:10:00.001+01:00

Stupid oily people who are silling oil can't block it up til august. B£$%*ards!

Hey, you, get offa my Clown!

2010-04-25T19:55:00.002+01:00

Does anyone actually read this blog? probably not. ah well, when I am old then I will look at this blog and think: "her her. like I thought that!" but I hope poepl do read this or otherwise it's a waste of time. anyway, have you any of you seen the latest Doctor Who episode? It was so cool XD! The Time Of Angels. quote: "what if our ideas could think for themselves? when that happens, the time will come- the time of angels" OMFG that is a cool paragraph, well. Oh yes- this is a good song and you would be an idiot not to think it cool. So, bye

Hello All

2010-04-22T20:51:00.004+01:00

Hi, I am jus watching the prime ministerial debate on TV and also I found the cutest picture of a witch Familiar on the internet. I am so sorry but blogger is playing up so I cannot show it to you now. So sorry. Some other time, maybe. I am still snickering from the first leader's debate involving lots of "I agree with nick" From Gordon. Gordon's full name is Gordon Stewboy Watterspan Rightwing Drown-in-Wee Wee Brown.

Hey all of you! :)

2010-04-17T12:56:00.003+01:00

Hi it's leo again. well, who would it be, gordon brown? anyway, it's me, talking about wat's happening. it's the election soon and Nick Griffin (you know, the nazi man with no chin) might become an mp in barking. well, if they want him as an mp, barking is barking mad! he's a nazi, everybody knows that! anyway, have you seen outnumbered? twas cool and funny. so, how are u???????? it's like , so idiotic that the bnp coul have an mp, thyey're evil fascists. so, must get on.... BYEs

Arr...another Pooost, Arrr...

2010-04-11T19:33:00.003+01:00

well, today I worked out that Caroline Lucas will probably not get the brighton pavilion seat, on a sad political note. Labour (noy as left wing as the greens, I think) probably will. but apart from P-O-L-I-T-I-C-S-, there is lots of other happenin'! there is a new series of Outnumbered (you rok!) and also Doctor Who! it's back. Matt Smith is an ok doctor but not as good as david tennant. (sorry to pop back into politics but tennant backs brown or pm) the new companion is great! The new doc is still developing though. you know there is a black market for bloody jumpers (!), if they are made from some kind of wool from illegal sheep or something. anyway, tune into my next insane ramble by coming back to my Blogg, WHO CARES!

what I have done since I wrote the last bloody post

2010-03-13T11:19:00.002Z

well, if this is like, document o' my life, I'd better do a post now and then. and here is the latest update to my saga. well, I, Leo Rogers, have a hamster. you might know that already. I have had him since november ish time, and he is the cutest. Well, one of the recent times when we cleaned the orange tennis ball(my nickname 4 dougal) out, he escaped and hid behind the wardrobe. he helped himself to the open box of hamster sweets while he was at it. anyway, we were, um, doing that. we caught him back, and today, jus' a moment ago, it almost happened again. what it was, we bought him a kinda cool hamster run. turns out he can climb up thesides, so it's not all it's cracked up to be, and a bit much that was. so, that was annoying. I have a link, to keep you people goin', an' it's to the Spook's World. (Go There.) I love the site, and best of all one of the upcoming spooksbooks is the Spook's Bestiary, which is a compendium of all the fabulous monsters of the Spook's World. It will soon be out, I hope. the next book in the series that is of the story, is The Spook's Nightmare. If you don't want a little preview, look away NOW. the Spook's house in Chipenden is found burnt to the ground and Bony Lizzie (the evil witch)'s pit it destroyed- she has escaped! (or been freed??) anyway, I must get on, for I have some blogs I need 2 read.

I'm not dead yet!

2010-02-22T17:50:00.002Z

so, I will still post cos i'm not dead yet. sorry, but you have to keep reading. anypooooooooooooooooool-liverpool- ay, today was pouring with rain here in dartmoor. I broke sum rocks... and also I sent my pet dragonfly Kenneth into space in a rocket. as soon as he passed thru the atmosphere tho, he died...

the last paragraph was lies, all lies, so Kenneth, if there is a dragonfly with that name, is still alive. :)

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

a short note

2010-02-17T20:18:00.002Z

oh yeah. if you are on FaceBook search if I win the lottery each fan will get 1000 pounds. ;D

so.

2010-02-17T12:17:00.002Z

so..sodium bicarbonate.... happy new week. I had a S"£$ monday, something you would be upset to hear about involving an evil hunter & a really cute rabbit. tuesday. goodoh. had a lazy day because all my groups for the rest of the week are cancelled yippee. today I am actually gonna put some thought into the 12 hours, not endlessly write stories on the computer and have extremely bubbly footbaths. hopefully, it will not rain in the rest of the week because I want spring to come and if a rain cloud had a face, i would punch it for being so annoying an' holdin' back the next season, SPRING!!!!!! ;D so, well, I hope everyone reading this blog but for BNPs have a good week. chao.

Leo Rogers

hey you get offa my clown

2010-02-13T21:49:00.002Z

randomly named. i am now at a sleepover in my cousin's house. i go for lots of sleepovest waned to make a short noe. bye. *you radiers, you better watch it. or i'll be round your manor with all the oher policemen and i'll arrest your arse. bye.*

the sunday limes

2010-02-07T17:06:00.002Z

um...well its sunday, tomorrow it will not be sunday obviously..also today i saw a buffy episode where the school swimming team turned into these humanoid, black fish monsters! ha ha! last night i read three whole chapters of inkspell even though i was very tired. it's that good so i extremely urge people to read it. you must read the inkheart trilogy! recently i was researching this building in our neighbourhood that is mysterious..i suspect conspiracy-government-aliens-or something in that region. it is supposedly a knitware place-i suspect otherwise...

inkheart

2010-02-06T10:48:00.002Z

what a good book is inkheart! you should read it, whoever you are reading my blog. hopefully you are good, not evil. inkheart has plenty of evil characters-more exciting that way. it is such a good book that it would be cruel not to reccomend it to everyone in the world! read it, or you will suffer. if you value your life, you will read inkheart. then inkspell. then, inkdeath.

sleepover madness part six

2010-02-04T19:35:00.003Z

sleepover madness part six or sex in latin.
the peter/demon thing roared . quick as a flash, jad ripped of seven or eight of the stitches. black blood spurted out. "don't get any of that stuff on you!" leo said. Jad backed away. then Leo typed something into the fiction machine. then Cornelius Van Helsing and Buffy the vampire slayer both stepped out. loads of demons flooded into the room. "oh, god..." Leo said. Jad typed something into the fiction machine, and a samurai sword clanged to the ground. "thanks." Leo said. "and for you, Sam..." he typed in something and a huge plasma cannon fell into Sam's hands. "Mai." a knife fell thru the air and slid itself into Mai's hand. "oh, and i almost forgot. me." he pressed in a button and touched the screen. the screen went blue, then red, then white...then pink with orange spots on..then black and white spots and stripes... some writing appeared on the screen.
oh no. your device has overloaded.
"darn the bloody thing!" said stan. demon/peter ran towards Jad but Leo sliced the possessed kid's head off. Jad tutted. "what? I 'll sow it on later." then the machine exploded, after letting out a whole load of aliens and terrible fictional villains. right, so Jad never got his..erm...thing from fiction. until Leo pressed esc. one more thing appeared before the thing blew up- a crystal mace, the chain made of solid gold. there were some words carved into the handle.
property of Jad Stacey.
"Leo, how did you get that to work? i mean, it's not from fiction..." Leo held up a stck of paper bound together with a weak brown string. on the first page was written, the story of Jad's crystal mace. "this. just something I knocked up in a few seconds. the flood of demons was not stopped by the windows and doors being locked. then a huge foot crashed through the ceiling. that of a giant chicken. it squished peter's head. "hm. maybe I won't sow it back on after."

but then something extra ordinary happened.............

oh, and some mistakes might be made. peter is also known as john/edward

sleepover madness part four..four fourhgdyegfhd

2010-02-04T18:46:00.004Z

ok....they were in stan and alex's house. a dark skinned man with a crowbar broke in and ran at them.
they later realised it was in fact a demon.
"probably a spring-born demonic beast....minion to a more powerful one."said Leo. "so that means there is something powerful and deadly coming our way???????????????" peter said. "well, DUH!" said Leo. "that means i must do everything i wanted to do before i die......shake hands with a giant chicken!" Peter said. "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh" oh, =beep=! he was torn into two halves. thanks to Leo's sowing skills, he was soon intact
(backstitch saves lives). then Sam brought him back to life using some wierd gizmo....

they ran out of a house, about eighty-five rolls of pink thread was holding peter's intestines in. they dashed away and a giant chicken chased them. then Mai farted and the chicken died. stinky.......,.,.,.,.,.,.
they ran towards Leo's house. they ran up to his room and locked the door. Leo picked up something that looked kinda like a crossbow and shot a giant chicken in the back. he shot down more. then something really annoying happened..............................

even numbered parts on who cares, odd numbered parts on the life of jad :D!

sleepover madness part two-twit-wto

2010-02-04T18:15:00.003Z

(for part one go to the life of jad, my friend jad's blog)
okay, so the chicken broke through the door. Mai screamed, and a large black claw picked Leo up by the scruff of his neck. "get of me you =beep=ing =beep=hole! stick it up your =beep= then you can drop me you son of a =beep=! =beep=off! you =beep=ing =beep=hole! raar! gerrof! get off me !" then the long sleeved red top ripped and Leo fell to the ground. "=beep=ing hell." said Jad as the chicken hurled him out of the window. "=beep=!" he screamed as he tumbled onto the grass.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouch!

I am not at home now...

2010-02-04T12:13:00.001Z

I am actually at Jad's house on a sleepover that's good! yay! so...welley,welley, well.........its only 12 o clock ish. sleepovers rule im bored now bye

there is a visitor...

2009-11-24T10:51:00.001Z

....from outer space! by that, i mean portslade. jad is round to play.

morning again

2009-11-18T10:54:00.003Z

hello. this is like, day-jar-voo . i'm on the same new pc, haven't been on the old one much lately cause this one's cooler, and it's morning. anyway, couldn't go to kids club today because i had a wierd rash on my side. we went to the doctors, but it's not shingles. it's in the classic shingles place though. hmm. anyway, if it's faded enough later i can go swimming, so i hope it has, because i want to go swimming. and if it hasn't, then i'll be really annoyed by friday when i can't go swimming on the traditional day! omg! anyway, hopefully it will have dissappeared by then so i can swim, and it MUST be gone by saturday or i'll go to the doctors again and demand salve, because i wanna swim. also, i might not be allowed to swim anyway cause i've got what i think is a acurrev. hold the monitor up to a mirror. so, not many people blogging anymore, grown ups and kids alike, because of facebook, eh? well, not anymore. i will lead them in1 i will..........well, i would have to create something even cooler than farmville, and no fair, i'm not even allowed a facebook account! i mean, i can sort-of understand phone, pen knife and keys, but facebook? i'm only gonna have an account so i can pet my elephants on farmville! and i know lots of people my age who have facebooks. lots.but anyway, since i'm not allowed to join em, i will have to beat them, with a blog every day. a blog every day keeps the facebook away, thats what i say. well, i didn't used to, but i do now, so stay with it. tomorrow i should be allowed to go to kids club, and i have made myself a character and everything! last night, the little turd on the pavement told me that there was a meteor shower on the right of the big dipper last night, i looked, but saw no meteors, and all i got for going out was a theory of what that little cluster of stars i saw in the sky was, and very scared(pearl kept jumping out on me and i got scared in queen's park at nite.) it's the queens speech today. also, if you want to watch something utterly hilarious go to bbc iplayer before it's too late and watch the impressions show. it's really good. ah, while typing, my rash has faded loads. it's faded so soon itll be invisible and everyone will think i made the whole thing up. and i don't blame them, for all they know i could have. anyway, bye!

morning!

2009-11-17T09:36:00.002Z

i am at home, typing on our new pc! cool! we set it up last night. we got it free from my mum's work(not to be named:clue, it's a place with books in it). the monitor and desk weren't free, though. but they were cheap, so.....
anyway, jad (see, the life of jad) is coming round to our house this morning and yet again, he will see some part of our house moved around differently. that happens every time.

anyway, back on halloween(i was too busy to post then) was mohawk's birthday! lil moh's, i mean, big moh's is xmas day, the 25th of december.

alsoooooo, yesterday in the post a parcel for me came and it was the buffy the vampire slayer monster book. it's really cool. go to wikipedia to find out more about buffy.

well, see you later maybe , if i'm not doing something else tomorrow or later today. i dunno but i might be, depends when jad goes

happy 100th!!!

2009-09-23T09:09:00.003+01:00

ok, a hundred times if typed this-hyello! and, it's number hundred. should i be documenting these posts in case blogger dies? arr, who cares. anypoo, i have a special spray for spraying ghosts, that i invented last night. ghost spray: to keep those ghoulies at bay! not to be confusesd with anti bacterial spray, in all rubbish retailers. and, i built my catapult, which looks a bit like bart's one. well, allthesame. okay, here is a video to keep dwindling people occupied.

did that selecting and control see ing work? if so, enjoy. anypoo, must be going. byeeeeeeeee

the curse of cornelius sigan

2009-09-21T10:55:00.004+01:00

ok, this was episode one of merlin, series two. it was like this: the sneaky conman cedric muscles in on merlin's job as arthur's manservant, so he can steal keys to sigans tomb below camelot. he finds the jewel sigan's soul is in, and lets it get into his body. well, i mustn't spoil it for you, so hurry up and get on iplayer before it's too late!

it wasn't as good as episode one of merlin series one, the dragon's call, but it wasn't as bad as something really crappy like friends. ( so, if you don't want to be bound to their evil ny will, turn off e4 right now and put on a dvd of the classic merlin episode, valiant. )

new radicals song

2009-09-04T10:26:00.003+01:00

hi, this is a post with an added video at the end. well, the lead singer who sings this song must get tired of that sun hat over his eyes all the time- even in winter! anypoo, i have got to show you a picture of a book i should recieve in the post any minute now!

yes, that pic is a pic of hardcover and i bough paperback on amazon, but, same difference. anypoo, he's carrying a staff, and a silver chain, and he's the spook. i have read the spook's apprentice, but i didn't own a copy, so, i am collecting them, and the best looking in old-cover is the 1st one, you see, they made these crap animated new look jackets. sorry, they're not crap, but they're nowhere near as good as the old-looking covers, which are just of the spook doing stuff, on the cover of the spook's apprentice, he's walking. anykangaroo, here is stuff about the spook's apprentice.

The story begins after the arrival of the Spook who will be taking Tom Ward, the narrator, as his apprentice. The Spook is a cloaked old man carrying a wooden staff in his left hand who travels the County fighting troublesome creatures such as Boggarts, Ghosts/Ghasts, and Witches, for the people who need these things gone. However the religious world hates them, for they are thought to be meddling in the dark powers themselves, which is against the Christian church.

Tom knows that his parents have agreed to make Tom the apprentice of the Spook. He will have to learn how the Spook fights "The Dark" as it's referred to in the book.

The Spook is actually a very caring person, and seems to look after Tom like a son. He explains that most of his other apprentices have failed, due to them being cowardly, disobedient, or deceased. His staff is not what it appears. Later on Tom Ward realizes it is very useful to defeat witches.

After learning what the Spook does, Tom is sent out on an errand to pick up some food for the house, (inside which lives a boggart, in whom the Spook has made a servant of sorts) suddenly some boys about the same age come up and threaten to beat him, unless he gives them some food. Tom refuses and the boys are about to beat him up, when suddenly a girl in pointy shoes shows up and scares them away by telling them a certain person is back.She has an ungodly amount of strength for a girl of her age

The Spook Draw by Allan BarbeauThe mysterious girl's name is Alice, and she is a relative of some of the most dangerous witches in the world: Mother Malkin and Bony Lizzie. Bony Lizzie used bone magic, a type of necromancery involving the bones of dead enemies. Mother Malkin was one of the most sinister witches, who used blood magic, a type of witchcraft that involved draining the blood of anyone she thought could have useful features. She was called Mother Malkin for her strategy of welcoming young runaway women into a care home, and then sucking the blood of every girl there to make her more youthful. Over time she had developed a taste for children.

A long time ago the Spook had bound Mother Malkin to a pit in the ground with 13 iron bars on top, so she could never escape to terrorize anyone again.

Soon Tom is tricked by Alice to give Mother Malkin some cake, which (Tom doesn't know) is filled with blood. Mother Malkin becomes stronger and breaks out of her pit prison in two days.

Now it's up to Tom to recapture this witch. The Spook has been tricked by Bony Lizzie into going to Pendle (a place infested by witches and other creatures of the dark) and can not help Tom capture Mother Malkin. Tom gets the help of Alice, who is found to be unhappy with her family, and their dark ways, to defeat Mother Malkin.

and, here is the new radicals song to end the post.

short back and sides, left floppy on top

2009-09-01T12:37:00.003+01:00

today, i got my hair cut. i always get the very same haircut-the title of this blog post! anypoo, anyshoe, anyyou, any..boo! i will be going to the park later, so, well, better get to the point on the end of the pencil on the end of the hand on the end of the arm of the artist...my current book i'm reading is the spook's battle. i am so fast at reading those books! they are great, this is my advice..... read it! also, it has a website which you might want to see. well, you SHOULD want to see it.. oh. you don't. well then, merlin will return really soon! it is the first day of autumn, and i love autumn. i hate summer. well, i way don't like it as much as autumn+winter, and, there is the soon matters of halloween, and, even better.........

it's CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

a lot of stuff!

2009-08-19T19:56:00.002+01:00

well, this is a load of stuff i have been meaning to blog, so, well, here goes. we went to cornwall. yay! well, we went on a long walk, and at one point i looked in the undergrowth to see what was there, and imagine my delight when i saw............... black lizards, lizards lizards liz! dee, dee! and, crabs galore! i saw a crab the size of a widescreen tv! almost. and i saw kestrels, goshawks and the best thing i saw.. was st ives. i like st ives more than home. it rocs.(as in, roc the giant eagle.) anypoo, i also sent 3 letters, and recieved 3 replies! one letter was to the bbc and guess what?(no, not snot) i got one back from charlene summers, some woman from the bbc! it was so cool! also, i bought a book about the new craze regarding my brain------------------------------------------
the spook's apprentice books and all that stuff, yy! and, the best place in the world for buying those books was, by a coincidence, apart from where the writer lives.. what do you know,(lots in my case) st ives!st ive sis the best place in the world, i love it so much! the other places i like are, york, edinburgh, brighton, and bath. (in no particular order)

mr blue sky cover

2009-08-05T20:33:00.000+01:00

the frogs part one

2009-08-05T16:24:00.002+01:00

john-bom harter was relaxing in his pond when he heard a cracking noise. the frog, being brave, swum towards where the noise had come from. then a stickleback grabbed him and shoved him inside a still hinging oyster shell. there was a latch on the shell, which was locked and secured with a padlock. john bom harter was trapped. the stickleback held on to the shell, until it sunk and the fish swum away in surprise. his head was full of questions, and the oyster shell was filling with water. he was going to drown. he could propel the shell across the muddy bottom of the pond, but not up to the surface. he then thought of something. he picked up a pebble from in the shel. he pounded the latch to open, but it didn't. then he saw the small bomb attached to the padlock. he was going to die, he was sure of it. his great-grandad drowned in a freak accident involving lemonade and pond dipping. then, he looked at the bomb. three. two. one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

stuff that happened

2009-08-05T15:52:00.004+01:00

so, what happened? oh, no, have i forgotten? ah yes. there was hes-fes. a camp in a field in kent. there was a huge scandal. air rifles, bangers, rudeness, cannabis, alchohol, theft and arson was afoot. (though usually a foot is afoot, but in this case it wasn't. and there was the flash mob.no, not a mob where everyone puts their trousers down, no, not a lynch mob. yes, a flash mob, where everybody does the same thing for some reason. there was a brilliant bubble-blowing flash mob by pavillion gardens, which made south east today, at least. it was to protest about badman and balls and web and all that homed stuff. i handed out 6/7 leaflets to the normal public and blew over 416 bubbles. there were tons of people there, and, cos it was on the news, i was on TV! also, for you sad people out there who missed it, it may happen again in september. i can't wait for that, can you? and, i have a holiday approaching. i will be in cornwall this time next week. the leaflets at the bubble blowing events said "why does ed balls want to burst our bubble?" well, i can answer that question. cos he's an idiot, that's why! i wrote a complaint to the BBC, about the all round evil cbbc program "roy" being a copycat version of lil howard. which side of the case do you support? lil howard's, or roy's? (i support little howard's side of the case because he's nicer etc.) i am now having some chocolate nexquix (a drink made from milk and yummy powders), which tastes like......well, chocolate nexquix. oh, this is a tip for anyone who likes to listen to someone rambling on about cereal: never eat shredded wheat. why? because it's made of shredded sparrows, that's why. do you watch deal or no deal? i do. 0857048750 pounds. deal or no deal? DEAL! bye!

JACKSON DEAD

2009-06-26T16:00:00.001+01:00

is he? duh. i went in tescos, and 8 of the 10 newspapers in it had " jackson dead" or "king of pop, michael jackson dead" and on newsround then it's presenter, ore, was very sad, but was trying to hide it. (was he a secret jackson fan?)

post 91

2009-06-09T10:02:00.002+01:00

hello, readers. i am reporting from the PC at our house, UK. we hane now heard the loudest sneeze ev- SNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZEEE!
HERE WE GO AGAIN. HAYFEVER, YOU MUST DIE!

post 90-daily news website

2009-06-08T18:13:00.004+01:00

hello, ye olde readers of this blog(thanks for not leaving when stuff gets boring)!(as if it ever does get boring) and, i have a link to a brand new page in the sidebar-click NOW.- and, you can see the obvious new look, which is because it is the website for the daily news. message to all readers of the daily news(copyright 2009 leo rogers lcd inc) - go to my new site.

a fox named mulder

2009-06-07T18:09:00.003+01:00

well, here's the story of a garden, and it's visitor. well, in the beggining, i was in the basement. i heard a noise, and thought, hey, the neighbours cat! so i looked out in the garden. that's a big cat, i though. or dog? no! it's a FOX! i called dani and pearl, and i called him mulder. he ran around and around the bike shed, and then he started climbing up the wall, and he fell. then he climbed again, and guess what? HE FELL. poor thing. after he did the came once more. he ran behind the bike shed and hid. good ol' fox. then, a few hours later, we checked to see if he had broken his leg, but , PHEW! he hadn't he was so scared, though! so we went back inside, and later, i was in bed, and dani woke me up. "we dropped some money down the well, and allie's going to get it out, hopefully." so i went back to sleep, and pearl woke me up. "THE FOX HAS FALLEN DOWN THE WELL!" OMIGOD! i thought. then i ran downstairs, and it had curled up in the drain. i saw allie try to catch it in a cat basket, and her knee kept turning the tap on. "oh, that made me jump" she said after the fox attempted to leap out of the well. "lucky i had the"her voice was drowned out. PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! "oops" then, after we caught it (i mean him, sorry) after we caught HIM, we hat him in the cat basket.

we went around the back, past the pub, me and pearl in dressing gowns. "oh my god, we must look like..fox hunters junior!" we then went to the gates, and opened the cat basket against it, and, there. that's how a fox named mulder came to our garden yesterday.

THE END

bankholiday

2009-05-25T12:38:00.002+01:00

right now i am munching on some nutella toast, and i am wondering what i will do for the next 10 hours. and, i have a new poll if you care to check the sidebar. you have not much time to vote. the poll is, what should i call this alien for the alienwalk on the 31st of may, so, get voting!

P.S. if you have another name then plz comment on this post. here is a pic of the alien.

the immortals signing

2009-05-11T09:01:00.002+01:00

guess what happened yesterday? i went to a paul stewart & chris riddell book signing, and what happened? they gave me a huge original & signed chris riddell drawing as well as a signature of each of them in the immortals. (my copy of it) the drawing was of a prowlgrin, my favourite edge chronicles thing. so, all went well as i thought, so, all's well that is well at the start, middle, and all throught to the end! bye!

X monkey theme

2009-05-08T09:16:00.000+01:00

E.B.E. & scully!

2009-05-06T13:21:00.010+01:00

they arrived in the post today and it is so so so great! i opened them at about 5 to one 5 mins after arriving at home! + i took some pics.

that's one of the alien.

so, all done with the pics. maybe more news later. byeeeeeeeeeee!

hello!

2009-04-20T09:17:00.006+01:00

welcome to the next instalment of who cares hilarity (and other stuff). there may be better stuff than usual next post, because there is a certain twist...

no, not that sort of twist!
a better kind of twist.....

like this,

this,

and this style.

RED ALERT! return of the solenedon

2009-04-15T10:59:00.004+01:00

alert! alert! he came back again!

X-monkey:the monkey with an X part 3

2009-04-05T12:04:00.003+01:00

X monkey truned on the ignition to his canioneroooooooooooo,o canienairo!. he drove off into the distance, with an angry kitten holding on at the back with 1 claw. "miaaaaaaow!hiss!canionero!" it clung on and said those words. well, maybe not all of them. X monkey stopped still. "look at that." he said. there was a huge, square kilometre, X . marked...in... blood. "miaow." he took out his camera. "this..-wait! i must pee." he went to the toilet. "this.. i must see." click! he took a photo.

it came out of his camera. "good. very good." he looked at it. then, he drove off again, but turned back. "i should wait. dig." he dug, and started to hit solid ground. he saw the coffin. with no inscription. no nothing. he tried to open it, but saw the hard wax around it. he scraped it off, and opened the coffin. he gasped. in there,...was an alien.

x-monkey part 2

2009-04-03T10:01:00.003+01:00

he got out his laptop. "i need to access this file on the database. he made a new tab from inside an oyster shell. he opened up the fbi homepage. "one message has been recieved." he looked in his inbox. 'close the case.' read the email. "what? close the case?" he said. "not this time. not even for biscuits-" "mm..biscuits..." "-i mean... yeah, not even for biscuits." he looked at the X-file:X.
'this file is not opened.' read a note that came up. he still looked at the file. 'many people were abducted one day, when six people dissappeared. then people kept seeing the dissappeared people's faces in mirrors and stuff, instead of their face..they all dissappeared.' "hey, look down there." X monkey pointed to a list of people abducted. "james morrisey, dave locks, alberto balsam.." "hey!" "alberto balsam is french, james morrisey is english and dave locks is american.. they came from different countries!-wait. all from the capital. what could this mean?"
10 mins later
"i should call my bodyguard. we are driving to canada's capital, to see the next abduction. "how should I know, i'm a cat!" thought his cat. 'beep beep beep'. he called his bodyguard. "let's call Justin Case, just in case. "hello, justin case?" "yes." "i need you to protect me." "okay."boop "he just hung up! i didn't tell him where.." "miaow" "wait! justin case's number is 0870 687, when i just called 0870 887! that wasn't justin case at all......" "miaow!"

X monkey-the monkey with an X

2009-04-02T14:33:00.002+01:00

the new story.
there was once a monkey, who was getting a little bit bored. what did he become? no, not more bored-X monkey!a villian was sitting in a hidden chair in a cave nearby his cottage. "i spy with my big eye something beggining with.....X." X monkey.(theme)

he sat in his office chair. "give me a file." he said to his slave cat. "miaow" the file was dropped on his lap. "X-file , X?" it made no sense. he opened the file, to see photos of a UFO. a flying saucer. and a tunnel leading deep underground. he read. " 'a tunnel was found under the floortiles in the abducted victim's house..' da da da.. 'and it has not been properly investigated'? i need to go there. now." the location-south west oregon.

this is part one of the only ever X-monkey story, so, the story is a one-off.

LONDON ZOO

2009-03-30T11:10:00.002+01:00

ZSL london zoo
we had to get up very early to leave, and when we did it was cold. also, we saw a frog, which had jumped to the glass in it's room, and you could see it stuck onto it's iny little window, just stuck there. it was only hanging, but all stuck on. we took a picture, which will probably be coming soon. +,we saw these amazing vultures. one ate a baby bird.(a sparrow, i suspect.) and, i noticed a crocodile and so did the others. it was a caiman. a dwarf caiman. very creepy looking. and we saw komodo dragons. we also saw...*mega cool* heela monsters! they were so cool.(heela spelt gila, by the way.) we alsop saw a giraffe, with it's long black tongue. also,.......................komodo dragons! they were big. very big. also, we saw some otters, and were the first ever humans to see, 1 week old baby meerkats! (they were in the burrow for a week, but came out just sunday!) also, we saw some african hunting dogs. yeah, sounds cool..but they were all asleep. soz. anyway, about some other things now...maybe the fact i bought a cuddly golden headed lion tamarin. or something like that. anyway, you will want to hear about the snakes 2. well, they were cool. we made a video of one which wanted to escape! it was really cool. and we saw some Xtra cool penguins. they swam about. and there were lions in an enclosure next to the red river hogs...who wanted to eat them. also, we saw some cool moths. they were amazing. and some stupid(very evil stupid) people took flash camera pictures of the gorillas, while they were fighting to get a shot without the "NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY " sign in! rr! anyway, the gorillas were annoyed, and who wouldn't be? anyway, we saw a big inside - a- building enclosure with sloths, tamarins, marmosets and birds in!okay, that's all from me right now, bye!

ZSL london zoo

2009-03-30T11:03:00.004+01:00

we went to london zoo yesterday. and do you know what we saw? read my list of things you would want to know about.
golden lion tamarins
baby meerkats(we were the first to see them. apart from the adults, they were a week old.)
sloths
a giraffe
vultures(one ate a baby bird, all fluffy and yellow.and dead.)
a komodo dragon
a monitor lizard
penguins.

first, a character profile;of the tamarins.

golden lion tamarins

aww!how nice. they are golden. and i bought a golden headed lion tamarin in the shop.

bye! and a sneak preview of the new story exclusive to who cares is soon! bye!

happy birthday to me!

2009-03-19T08:47:00.001Z

right now, i am listening to my xtra cool brand new mp3 player! it rocks. and i have a dvd of the x files, deadalive, and so very much more!i will have a list on sunday it think of all my presents, i get some on sat at my birthday.

christopher paolini reads an excerpt from brisingr!

2009-03-16T11:16:00.000Z

go to all my blogs for the brand new idea from me..blogparade

2009-03-14T15:35:00.001Z

do the blog parade and look at any blogs you can get your furry palms on! do it now while you still can!(ends 14th april)

hello! only 5 days

2009-03-14T15:32:00.000Z

only five.count them, five days until..the birthday

do something funny..for money!

2009-03-13T10:24:00.001Z

hi! red nose day today, and i was hoping(hint)that we could have a who cares parade. oh, thats just where you comment and say what youre doing for red nose day. i am going to youtuh club in my pjs.

pi ferret: ! the sand mystery the last part!

2009-03-08T11:05:00.001Z

this is the last bit of the sand mystery. a helicopter made a shadow on pi ferret, and the next thing he knew was that we was in it. 'aaagh!'

continued in..mohawk's feature length story!(crossover pi ferret+mohawk).

soon soon soon so very soon

2009-03-08T10:58:00.000Z

11 days to go til my birthday, which is so short!wow

hiya, birthday news!

2009-03-05T09:07:00.001Z

my birthday is in 2 weeks today, so i will do a post with a list o all my presents on too! that will be listed and added up in anytime from th 18th mar-5april.

my birthday is coming! wooooohooooo!

2009-03-04T17:05:00.002Z

only 2 weeks tomorrow and it will be my birthday, yayayayayay!

X files book

2009-03-02T20:46:00.000Z

you know i said i bought vol.1 of the x files book of the unexplained? vol.2 is a rare, and i bought it in town. yaay!

scaffold-doh!

2009-03-02T09:39:00.002Z

for some reason scaffolders are coming, and this time not just to fold scaff. they are putting poles all over our house. annoying, yes, and, it's burning hot in my room! they'r supposed to come in 2/3/4/5/6/7 weeks!(i wish that happened.) but this is my X files blog, official branch of the FBI . become an agent, look at it. (reported by agent leo rogers, head of all things X files.) i also bought 2 X files books on ebay, they're an X files guide to first 3 series', and the X files book of the unexplained vol.1!

ufo spotting

2009-02-23T13:18:00.002Z

anyone out there, in space..this is ufo spotiing themed post, no#1.
first, listen to this video, to help you get into character as a ufo spotter...

(music:the x files theme tune.) rated 10 out of 10!(by me 'n' everyone else on youtube 'n' even uchoob!get ready for later, part 2.

on charles robert darwin

2009-02-22T12:18:00.002Z

soz, i haven't been blogging that much lately. but anyhow, i have a thing you might want to hear about. back on the 12th of feb, it was charles darwin's birthday, and he turned 200. sorry, no parties were done in favour, since he's well, dead. but he lives on, in the life of google. go to the link google, and google him! it's really quite interesting.. to me, anyway. but also, he had the good idea of..evolution!(ee-voe- loo-shun) and his book is great. i'm gonna pruchase it on amazon. and most people think his idea's right..but some dont!(da-da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!)

PI ferret:the sand mystery chapter 2

2009-02-18T10:28:00.002Z

the dead body was splattered in blood. "no weapon found yet." he said on the phone to the police. 'wait a sec! i'm a PI myself! how silly of me.'i don't have much time so continued soon.

P.I. ferret - the sand mystery

2009-02-15T11:12:00.002Z

foreword: well, this story actually won't feature me. only P.I. ferret. but anyway, you want to read it so i won't stop you.

the sand mystery

one day there was a ferret in a cage. it was watching a program on the tv in the corner in the room. it was a movie- version of a poirot book. the ferret's eyes seemed to observe it closely, watching the murderer stab the man in the suit. the ferret's eyes widened. he started to speak. 'i never thought i could talk!' he looked at his hands checking he hadn't turned into a human. 'well, crime, here i come!' later, he was reading the paper. ' i don't know how these criminals can get away with it. it just carries on.' he accidently knocked over a cup of tea, but didn't notice. he then got into a tiny hovercar. 'i never knew i had one of these!' he drove off. the car ran on rubbish, and he had 84 hours left on his drive monitor. he saw a humanoid sand sculpture by the side of the road. 'hey! practice that!' he shouted out the window. then, he saw a dead body(or as he calls it, a bod-deady) by the side of the road. 'a bod-deady!'
to be continued.

home education survey.

2009-02-12T14:34:00.002Z

if you want to see it, and do it- you can do it if you are home educated or a home educating parent. well, just follow the link !

LINK

hi blog-E readers!

2009-02-11T13:17:00.000Z

hello all. the story coming soon, soz busy today. but never fear it will come! hahaha!

me again! tales exclusively for..this blog!

2009-02-11T13:14:00.000Z

there is a soon-coming thing you know. it's very good! it may not come, errors in my schedule(AKA writers block). but anyway-how, there is a tiny teaser coming here.
it will be all about me and Gwin's detective adventures. gwin's my cuddly ferret.
wahhah!

monsters, book one!

2009-02-09T20:28:00.002Z

Monsters: book one: call of the monster

It was Christmas time in Thunderland, as snow fell.which was the name of a small town in a cluster of trees and mountains , with curling roots, and icy snow. snow fell onto the cracked paving stones and the children were decorating the trees and one small baby heard a noise. It sounded like a growl. the baby reached in to grab some baubles to hang up, when he heard a squeal. A cute furred creature ran out and scuttled away.the fur scraps fell on the ground, leaving hairs. “whaah!” the creature disappeared through the tree. It was tiny. The baby was only small, and did not have any idea that it was dealing with one of the many types..of Monsters .monsters live where ever. They don’t drink much. They eat anything- and when they see a human-they drool.the next time he saw the creature was very soon, about an hour later, after the clock had ticked so little times. when he was in his cot and saw a footprint. It looked like a huge clawed paw, with a trace of blood filling the inside. He spun round and saw blood. A trace of it. But the thing was worse. The blood..was..not human blood. “Goo goo gaga!”was the noise the baby made.cying echoed from the house. A furry paw grabbed the collar of his baby overalls. Claws burst through the fabric, and he was pulled into the shadows. The baby grabbed out with his pudgy fingers, but the monster lashed out. He saw the monster it was,the, exact small creature. It had grown. The next morning the baby was gone. No trace. His mother called the police. “beep beep beep.” She dialled. Suddenly there was a power cut. “hello?” she called to the other end of the telephone line. “hello.” She heard on the other end. There was an old man in a cloak, with a phone standing behind her. “no!” the woman said. “and now, goodbye,”the man rasped. He snapped his fingers. The beast, the monster appeared from behind the tree. “and,” the man said, “merry Christmas.” “aaaaaaagh!” came her scream. There was a crash, and a man in a suit jumped in. “jonothan Clarke, monster hunter.” The suited man punched the beast, and got out a sword. “I hope this alridophloride metal will react!” the sword clanged on the beast’s master, and the monster roared. “raar!” the suited guy grabbed a cigarette that was still hot. He pressed it to the man(the bad guy man), and smoke flew up in a grey shroud over dipsitt house. (the house was called dipsitt house) the flames engulfed the house. “you destroy the monsters, half wit!” the smoking man said, in a growly voice. “enta ecan, devil of ages...” the devil-Enta- had a cloak on. It went up in flames. He didn’t care.

30 years later;

The clock started to tick for thunderland, as a new age begun- a new generation of monster hunters.

Dean- policeman with a destiny for monster hunting.

Clement- doctor-nurse-monster hunter.

And their age old enemy-well, dean’s age old enemy- enta. Featured as the old man, who is obviously evil.

OK, lets get to the story.

It was six pm, , in a cold, muddy land, being built. Being built over thunderland probably. policemen were all going towards the station to talk to people with slight problems. The problems they usually had in the station there were usually people with appointments in asylums. alchoholics, drug addicts, mad men, even wannabe superheroes. An old man came in. “hello.” The old man said. The old man pulled a small golden key from his pocket, and shoved in a black leather satchel .“I live in Mangrove street, and I have problems. There was a voice last night. ” The policeman put his feet back.”and, where was this?” the policeman asked. “well, i was at home, and i was getting ready for bed. And i looked into the mirror, and i saw a murderer in the glass..”the old man covered his eyes.”oh, god, no. And i put my hand under my bedclothes and i felt it. I felt—i felt a knife .” the policeman looked at his watch. “i’m sorry, there’s no time left. We’ll talk later.” “okay.” The old man walked out. The old man-enta- went out into the cold frosted cracking ground. “oh, you’ll be okay, enta.. you have no idea your own enemy is waiting for you. “fa la la la la, la la la la.” Sung the policeman(dean) to himself. he heard a call on the phone. He heard the phone stop after one ring- he pulled open the curtain. A huge, huge bat was on the windowsill. “aagh!” he screamed. He ran out the door to his office. He locked the door. A claw hacked through the wood. The glass pane shattered. The bat was gaining on him, when he had an idea. He grabbed his torch. It shon on a police badge nearby and struck light into the bat’s eyes. It turned to dust. The policeman felt the dust. It was ice cold. “Craak!” he heard . he spun round, and saw the beast, from thirty whole years back. His eyes shon. He, was, the baby. All grown up. His memories flashed. At Christmas.. exactly thirty years ago-it had come back. The monsters had come back. He ran. He came to a turn. He looked back. It was gaining on him. He ran, and came to a dead end. “come on,” he fumbled with his torch. The battery was gone. He saw a paw come around the corner. The monster was there. “okay..i’m not gonna hurt you..” the beast lunged. “ahh!” the torch flicked on, and a blast of light hit the beast. The torch’s beam flickered and disappeared. “oh, god!” the monster blinked. It glared it’s eyes....and charged..a window! He smashed the windowpane and dived out! ! “uh!”he hit the ground, unconscious. He woke up in hospital. “hello?” came a voice. “hello?” “wha..?” he woke up. “um, we found you on the grass by the station.” “what happened..?” it was a young man. “well, i was in the station, and i- oh, god.-my memory is blank.” “well, we left the station as it is. Should you check the police station, like, see?” the policeman looked out of the window. “hey!let me out!” he got up. “i’m sorry, but we’ll have to go too.” “okay.you can..take the biscuits, and also, i’ll need an extra pair of hands.” “right, i’ll get your stuff.” The next morning they set out. They walked down crow drive to the station. “have you packed the torches?” asked the police cheif. His name was police cheif dean. That was only his nickname. “yep, all packed. Oh, god..” “what?” “i forgot to pack the.. the, um..” the hospital doctor looked through the bag. “ ahh. The biscuits.” The policeman ran. “wait!”

the doctor chased after him. Doctor clement barnes. The doctor ran. He dropped the bag and some stuff fell out. The policeman came to the house. He saw a shed. He went past, and behind the shed was some plants. Shuffle. He went past them, and came to a door. The door had a lock. He shon the light of his torch onto the lock. Crunch. The door swung open. He went in. It was like a garden. He went in, and saw a white thing in the corner. A pony. No.. not a pony- a unicorn.-“woah.” He stared. Neigh.. the horse sensed a bad thing nearby.. hiss.. came a noise. He spun around. He saw nothing. He looked down.. “aha, that must be it.” He looked down at a footprint. Huge. It was about 1 metre squared. He stuck his finger in. “hey!” came the noise of doctor clement. He looked around. “wow..”

clement came in. “a unicorn.”

Dean put his hand into the mud.. “yuck!”

he pulled out something. “what is it?” clement said. Dean picked it out.he chucked a clump of mud on to the wall. It was a bundle of clothes. He stuffed it into his pocket. “hiss!Roar!” a huge lizard head with a forked tongue that slithered along it’s teeth .it’s head poked over the wall. “run!” they flung their padded feet towards the door. to the door. They ran past the plants. Dean slipped in the sticky, iced over mud. “agh!” he slipped and hit his knee. “ow, uhh..” he spun around. “hisssssssssss...” for a second there was no lizard poking it’s head over teh wooden wall. “craaaaash!” the wall splintered and cracked apart. “roar! Roared the lizard when it made a splintered hole. “yaaah!” clement threw the bag. “roar...” the lizard batted it back. “oof!” it hit clement and he fell back. Dean was sweating hard. Clement fumbled in his doctor’s coat. He saw a camera. He pulled it out. Snap! He took a photo. “roar!” the monster hid it’s eyes. Snap! Snap! snap! the camera had a message that popped up on the screen. No battery. No battery. Dean grabbed his torch. “eat torchlight!” the torch shon onto the eyes of the lizard. The lizard’s body shimmered.the skin sucked down small. The monster seemed not to be a monster at all. It was an old man. They looked at his face. “what can we do?” dean said. “but what happened with that lizard, and the unicorn? What is this, dean?” “i have no idea. I haven’t met this man, never..” dean saw a memory in the back of his mind. “oh, i remember him.” “and?” “i think i saw him come to the station.” “and what did he say?” something about voices, and murder.” Dean pulled out his wallet.” My wallet, he gave me his address.” Doctor clement felt the old man. “dean!” “yeah, i’m sort of in the middle of somethi—“ “dean. His eyes are open.” They both took a step back. “okay, maybe we should get you home..” clement looked at the old man. The old man blinked. He spun his head. He acted like an animal. “dean, look at his eyes..”dean looked at the old man’s eyes. They were red. The old man moaned. “the mirror....” dean stepped back. Doctor clement started to talk. “dean, this man is very very sick. Completely crazy. All he said must have been a lie.” “the mirror!” clement looked up. Dean argued. “but this man could be a little bit mad, but he could be a witness of a murder, and i can’t let that pass us by.” The man put his hand to his belt. He pulled out a voodoo doll and a knife from his pouch. “look at him, clement. He has a voodoo doll.” Clement spun around. “the mirror...” he raised the knife. “dean!run!” they slipped out. Dean jumped back and snatched the knife. “thanks!” he ran towards the glade, and slipped past the corner and around the gap of the fence. “dean, hurry up!” clement gestured to behind him, and dean grabbed a vine from the wall. He curled up the vine. “dean...” dean looked around, and saw the man. The man’s eyes started to turn red. “mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is most evil of them all?”the old man said, as wind swirled around him. A whirl wind gathered above him, as clement hit dean over the head with a coffee cup. The coffee swung around inside the coffee cup with the green screw lid. “dean! Run!” they ran as fast as they could, as the man floated above the ground with ease. His body lifted higher into the whirlwind, as his eyes blazed a fiery red. His hand pointed to the gates. The wind burst from his hand, and swung the gates shut. “oh, why do we need to bring that coffee?” dean said, as he rubbed his head. The old man’s skin started to bristle with black fur. “clement, pass me that coffee cup..” dean held out his hand. Clement placed the coffee cup in his hand. “now, take that vine out my pocket..” clement pulled it out, and passed it to dean. Dean tied the end of the vine to the bottle, and tied the other end to his arm. He swung the vine, and let go, as the bottle wrapped around the gate. He grabbed hold tight onto the rope. He swung through the air. He landed down on the paving stones. “dean, open the gate, the old man’s power is rising...” clement saw the man’s furry skin . it looked as if something was stretching and straining and trying to get out. Dean pulled at the lock. The rusted lock cracked and fell to the floor. “get out doctor clement!!” clement ran and grabbed hold of dean’s hand. “okay?” “yeah.” They ran as fast as they could. The whirlwind spun towards them. “dean! Do you still have any spare torches on your belt, like a keyring torch?” clement asked while he puffed away. “yeah.” Dean handed him some small keys. Clement turned it on. Clement threw it through the air. It hit the old man, with a thwack! The light started to lower in light, then flames flickered onto the man. “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!” the man screamed as the flames slowly burnt away his skin and bones. Suddenly they noticed that his bones were turning red. His body pulsated with anger and rage, as they heard his bones crunch. His hand clenched into a fist as words passed into the old man’s mouth that were not his own. His teeth clenched as he started to talk. “your race is dominant for this time, but when the solctice passes then your blood will run dry, and the human race will perish! Aaaggghhh!!!” the bones turned orange, then green, blue, and white as the bones fell through the air and turned to dust before they hit the ground. Dean felt the dust sprinkle into his hair from the wind.clement dusted the cracked mud off of his white doctor’s coat. “sorry, i really must be going.”

He said. “yeah, work. The force must have no idea.”

Clement walked off. Dean waited until clement was gone, and swung open the gate. He went back in, and dug into the mud. He felt a heavy obgect. Dean felt further in, and then pulled it out. It was a human skull. He felt it. “that means they must have been feeding here a long time.” He said as he saw the shape of the skull. Prehistoric. He pressed his boots further into the mud a

nd reached a small gate . “hey, was that there before?” he noticed a small plaque on the wall. I WOULD TURN BACK NOW IF I WAS YOU. He swung open the gate and strided into the green garden . he saw a large red leaved tree in the corner of the garden, and a buried box sticking out the ground. He walked over, and noticed that the box had a large padlock.

“well, at least these jean s are cheap.” Dean got down onto his knees, and scrabbled into the dirt.

He pulled on the box, and tugged until his knuckles turned white. He sighed, and muttered under his breath.

“how am going to see what secrets this garden holds?”

He looked around the garden. He saw a statue, and it was of a mermaid. He looked at it.

“a mermaid?...” he looked at it.

“aha!”

He twisted the tail of the mermaid, and the mouth snapped open. He saw a gleaming small obgect sitting safely inside the padded mouth of the statue. He fished it out of the mermaid’s mouth, and tried it in the lock. It was a key, a key embedded with a diamond and writing that read:if you seek danger, open me.. he pushed in the key and waited to turn it.

“wait, this could be anything.” He twirled the key anticlockwise, and the lid swung open. Dean heard a voice.

“turns out that the hospital is sort of deserted, so i had no reason to be there..” clement was behind him.

“what’s that?” clement asked dean. Dean slammed he lid down and removed the key.

“nothing, nothing..” dean said.

“good, because i have a good idea. If we can develop these photos on the camera, we could keep them, to make us sure we weren’t going completely crazy.” Clement handed dean the camera.

“good idea?” clement asked. dean had no idea why not.

“yeah, great idea.” Dean said. Clement walked off.

“bye..” dean waved to him.

Dean pulled the box out the ground, and wrapped it in his coat. He took extra special care of the key, and wondered what the box contained. He ran home, anticipating the very moment he would open the box. He hoped that there was a reason his legs were hurting, and he suspected that it was the heavy camera in the pocket at his knee. He rushed across the frosty road, and managed to reach the other side without dropping anything. He fumbled in his pockets and pulled out a bunch of keys, all suspended on one flimsy keyring. He walked towards his old, crooked house. He saw the postman. The postman started to talk. “ahh, dean. I had a letter addressed to you, and i was wondering, because it calls you Mrs dean, and, you’re not called Mrs dean. Are you? No, not really. But, can you check it out?” the postman passed him a thick parcel with a stamp on it, that read: be good, save cash. He took the parcel in, and slammed it onto the table. He threw the box onto the sofa, and flicked the lights on. The lights were pretty dim, until he switched the extra light landing light on, and the whole house lit up. He took the keys closer along his green carpet, and he looked at the lock. He tried it, but the key made a noise like a bird, a very screechy bird. He stopped trying the lock. “oil!” he walked over to the cupboard, and looked for the oil. There was a bottle on the table. He picked it up, and poured some onto a cloth. He dived onto his soft sofa, and rubbed the lock and the key with the oil. He twisted the key now. It seemed that as he turned the key then the sun rose higher, and when he turned it the other way it got darker. He pulled open the wooden lid. He opened it with care, and he thought that maybe even a laser would blast out, but he looked into the shining metal inside. He saw a book, with a picture of a big bat engraved in gold on it. He heard a bottle pouring out. He looked at the flickering fire in the fireplace. “aw, the oil!!” he ran over but was too late! A stream reached the fireplace, and fire ran along the stream. He had no time to grab the book, as he ran to the door. He jumped out, and the whole house exploded with a BOOM! He saw the book shoot through the air, then the pages slowly turned to ash, and the ashes assembled into a bat. One of those big, big monstrous bats he saw at the station, such a long, but such a short time ago. The bat flapped into the air, and the wind took hold, and the ashes blew into a swarm of kids coming out of the nearby school. Dean looked as they breathed in the toxic ash.. “god, no!” he saw them clutch their heads. Suddenly they turned stiff. Then wind blew, the wind blew all the ash off of them.. they walked off, and the crowd separated to reveal the old man with fur sparking all over him. He became very furry, and his skin turned into silky fur. His eyeballs impulse and grew twice their size, and blazed red and yellow like fire. His ears turned pointed and his fingernails turned to claws-his knuckles blazed white to green to yellow to purple to pale blue-, and he clenched his hands in fists. He pushed his fist up, then his other fist, and then when his knuckles got to pale blue then he opened his hands so very, very fast..Then his body pumped up huge—into such a huge monster. It was a mythical beast, like the unicorn sighted before. He was a large red dragon, a very large red dragon, about 10 feet tall. Not that tall, but his muscles pumped up and his legs were still shooting up into the sky.. his body settled at 46 feet tall, and his hands were no longer claws, but short, stubby pointed nails. The fur all shot over to his head, where it disappeared into his mouth. The red dragon was a huge, towering vision, but a vision, no less. The old man was only controlling memories, and it was only a repeat of what once happened, many years ago. The dragon burst into flame, an electric blue flame, burning and burning. Dean saw the dragon tail whip inside the flame, until the flame went out. Then the old man blew his wrist, which was now surprisingly bald, when the air turned his arm into dust. Black ashy dust. He kept on doing it until his whole body was a clump of ash, when it blew away. It blew towards the badlands. Dean then remembered how he was so, so stupid. “aha! The badlands! Thunderland was in between some trees and mountains, in the thunder gorge...” he saw an old wooden sign sticking out of the sticky, tarmac where the roadworks was . he pulled on the sticky wooden sign. It read:Thun. The rest of it was covered in tarmac, and he pushed it off. It now read: thunderland. He slapped his own face. He felt his head under all his hair, and felt a dent in it, where the monster had grabbed him. He looked to the road works, and he saw the man, very young, as he was when he attacked his parents....The man started grinning, then the man ran towards dean. Dean ran out to the badlands. He jumped over the snapped twigs, and logs. The man was fast gaining on him, with a powerful, fast way of moving; the man started to sprout huge, black bat like wings.. He could fly. But there was not very much of a difference between their speed, not because they were both very fast; because they were both very close together. The man started to whizz towards dean. Dean’s leg got caught on a root, and dean unhooked himself. He saw a huge crack in the ground. In the crack, he could see a very large number of snakes. Three-no.- seven headed snakes .Dean tripped over a small pebble and his face smacked into a wall. “now that,”

he said as he skipped past the reeds. “will be a big bruise.”

He jumped across the crack, and his torch fell into the mud. He picked off the crackling, bubbling goop off of the torch. “i should have remembered earlier..” he flicked on the torch, and pointed it at the young version of the old man. His body started to age, his

height shrink, wrinkles appeared on the evil guy’s face. Dean saw the very aged edition of the man, who was about 5 foot 1, and shrinking. Suddenly when his body got to 2 foot, then it shape shifted into a small non water eel, which was writhing and whipping. It’s eyes were red, and teeth were green and black and huge. Spines appeared on the eel- - it jumped at Dean’s face.

Four long, tiring hours later;

Dean was lying on the matted grass in the gorge.

His arm was drenched in blood, though his face was the part bleeding. He saw the local lake....it had run dry! He saw the water rush towards him with speed! He was going to drown. Sure of it. He saw the eel in the waters. He dived towards it, grabbing at it frantically. He saw the eel, and grabbed it now.

“where is that bat book?” he clutched the eel. Then he looked into the water, and a bigger, worse big black eel—20 feet long. “aaagghhh!” dean ran as fast as he could away from the water. “whup!” he grabbed some long ivy.

“i really hope this works!” he saw another crack! He probably intended to swing over.. though he succeeded in one thing. Falling in the crack. He was still managing to cling on to that twanging vine. He saw the three—seven headed snakes hiss, and climb higher. He had to get back up before the water drowned him and made him fall. He climbed and clambered as fast as he could, up the vine. He managed to be on solid ground, then he saw how close the water was. He spun around and saw a boat- only a kayak, but possible-tied to a tree. He ran as fast as his tired, stretched legs would carry him. He jumped into the kayak, but was too late. The water shot over the kayak.

The water had become still, and it looked like dean.. was dead. Then the kayak shot out and up, with a splish, splash, and a splosh for good luck. The kayak had no rowing paddles, and that meant he was marooned. The cable snapped with a whip, and it lashed dean’s back. He saw the eel gain on him, but the kayak was whooshing through the air, when for one second... “aaagghhh!”

“Now that is one thing i wouldn’t advise when you try to jump a boulder...” dean said as he saw somebody run through the harsh bank of the river, which was actually the gorge. The person was a nun. She was waving around a bible swatting at some small flies. But then one of the flies flew towards him, then he noticed stripes on the fly. It wasn’t a fly, it was a wasp. It flew, and buzzed it’s way into the rocks in the gorge. It was deep in the crack, and smaller cracks started to appear all over the ground. They all formed a circle, and most of the water splashed towards the new hole. The nun started to watch the fly/wasps, as they flew away. Suddenly dean noticed a nearly putrid smell coming from the hole. Dean pulled some of the swinging vines from the grass down, and tied one to him. The one he tied to him was extra long, and he tied one end to the boat. Dean walked up to the end of the boat. He looked out to as far as he could, into the gorge. Dean was going to jump off, and explore. He made for it.. he didn’t jump. He hesitated, and untied the flimsy vine. He saw a waterfall approaching, in the distance, but getting closer and closer, then he tried to jump but pushed himself back into the boat. He noticed he had got so close to the waterfall, there was no river bank. He saw some leaves in a nice colour, hanging on a branch above him. Hetouched it softly, and one fell. Then he picked up the leaf, and the whole branch fell on his head. He saw some rags in the corner of the canoe. He unfolded them, and lay under them. He felt the boat tilt, and did not see. He lifted his head up a bit. “wow, was that iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, it?” he pulled the blanket rag off of his body and completely off his head. He saw the water fall about a foot in front of him. “aaargh!” he fell fast in the canoe, and in the wind, he blew away from the canoe, his blanket rag like wings, he sailed through the air, like a feather in the wind. He saw a large pool of water fast approaching him. He tjought. Well, that can’t be so bad... he saw a huge, green crocodile in the waters. It was 3 metres long, with a long snout, and a thick mouth full of sharp teeth. He was going very fast.. that second the rag blew off his shoulders. It landed down by the side of the pool. Then when he hit the river, nothing bad happened.. it was ice. He landed, and dusted himself off. “not so bad, actually..” then he noticed the crack forming in the ice. Water started to seep through, then the crocodile hand / paw smashed against the ice, trapped under. The claws shot through the thin ice. Dean jumped up, and off the ice. Dean strated to run. He ran as fast as he could, and he ran even faster when he heard the ice break, and the crocodile run on all fours behind him. He saw a large oak tree, and he thought he saw the old man’s face in the bark. He kept running. He was bored and tired of the constant pitter patter of feet on the cold, frozen ground. Then he heard the crocodile far behind. “what a stroke of luck!” he saw the crocodile had tripped. The crocodile started to stand up, and he saw the canoe, where it had crashed, some small time ago. The oars were partly broken, but it could work. He jumped in, and hid under the rags. He quickly gave it a start off into the river ahead, and then hid under. The boat had got about a few feet forward and further it was getting. Then he noticed that unlike some creatures-crocodiles could swim.- the water lapped at the side of the canoe. There was a cold, cold wind, blowing over the river, which looked really cold.

“well, i hope that isn’t too cold. Otherwise, how’m i going to get home?”

he saw frost cover the water. “oh no, not the ice!” there was freezing.

“no, no no no, not the water, freezing me stuck in the middle!”

the canoe was stuck in the middle of the ice. “now, now, now i’m dead.” The canoe was frozen in. Cracks appeared on the wood. “now i’ll fall in the gap where the canoe was..” the wood broke. He fell right into the water. The crocodile was ontop of the ice. “whoah!”

the crocodile dived at dean. “so, if it goes for my neck..” he was trying to work something out. “the

n i should jump out the other way.” The ice froze, well, was freezing, as he jumped trough the ice where it was thin. Cracks appeared on the ice.

“well, i call that a stroke of luck.. ohh, oh oh aagh!” he fell straight back in. “or a stroke of bad luck.” The crocodile snaped it’s jaws, and it was on land. “hang on, how did the croc’ escape?” he saw the bridge of land across the river. “right. Okay.” He grabbed onto it with his hands, but they were crunched under boots. “enta!” the man stood on the dry land. The ice froze around dean. “in twenty minutes, the phiranas will devour you, and there will be no one left to stop me.” “what phiranas??” dean saw phiranas coming fast through the river.

“so i think it will be okay for us monsters, eh Mr Greenscale?” the crocodile went up on it’s hind legs, and morphed into a human, a human with red eyes and claws- and a forked tongue. Mr Greenscale grinned, a sharp toothed smile.

“i presume, you will die, dean?”

Mr Greenscale said. “how do you know my name?”

“tricks of the trade, dean, tricks of the trade.”

“Greenscale! Come on, we have humans to eat.” Enta growled.

Clement was running through the street toards the trench. He saw dean’s footprints leading in. “i hope this isn’t what i think it is!” he hopped in. It had run dry of water since dean was there. “funny, it’s a tad damp.” Clement ran along through the place, and got to the mouth of a cave. He saw a sign. “cottage of doom. Keep out. And some teenagers think people in their right minds are going to believe that?” he shon a torch in the cave. “ha.” He went along the ground towards the waterfall. He saw dean trapped half in the ice. “dean!” his cries were to quiet , drowned out by he immense noise of the train that went along past the gorge. “clement?” dean saw clement, not relying completely on his ears for once. Dean waved his arms. “clement, get me outta here!” he shouted. Clement saw a long vine that was hanging from a branch. “well, i HAVE always wanted to do this.....” he grabbed the vine. “coming through!! Or is it incoming? Never mind!” enta was in the tree the vine was hanging from. He cut the vine. “aaaaaagh!” clement fell, at an immense speed. “clement, don’t fall, don’t fall, make sure you don’t...” clement hit a tree. “...fall.” “ouch.” Dean said for clement, since clement seemed to injured to do it himself. “well, at least i got here in time, dean, buddy.” “what are you doing calling me buddy? We only just met, really.”

Clement scratched his head. “yeah, i suppose..” “now give me a hand out of this stupid ice!” “oh. Yeah. Sorry. i forgot about that, dean.” He pulled on dean’s hands. “crack.. no use!” mocked greenscale. “you’re not gonna get him out!” clement looked up, and Greenscale shoved him in. “whoah!” clement punched at Greenscale, but his fist went through the air. “ha! Don’t waste your time.” Greenscale laughed, and burst into smoke. “well, that was a bad monster.” Dean said. Clement luckily wasn’t stuck, he was ontop of the ice. “come on. Up.” Dean hopped up onto the curb like thing at the edge. “now, let’s get out of here, come on!” dean ran along there, fast. They ran and ran. Theyv reached the cave with a sign on it. “now i predict... home of a monster.” Dean said. “well, lets get rid of it.” “okay.”

They entered the cave full of cobwebs. Clement shook dirt off his hand. “hey! Look down there...” dean said. Clement got a torch out of his back pocket. “whoah, that’s a big spider.” Clement said. “no, the torn off hand!” there was a bony hand, covered in blood. Crawling on it’s own. “here’s the net. I grab it, you net it.” Dean handed clement the net. Whoop! The net caught the hand. “Woohoo! I got it, i got it...” dean’s hand was caught up in the net. “wrong hand. Now get after it!” they ran deeper into the cave. Enta and greenscale materialized in front of the cave. They made a tornado sweep around the cave mouth, and rock appeared over the opening. Enta growled. “the tornado was meant to be red, not clear. Oh, never mind. I said see –throug crystal to block the cave mouth, so they could see and hear out!” “okay, boss.” Greenscale shoved his hand into the rock, and made it into a fist. “huh. Amethyst. Nice touch, Greenscale.”

Dean was in there, clement in the front. “ pass me the 7up.” “clement, this is no time for fizzy drinks!” “no, shake two bottles up, pass one to me, take the lid off, and..” “oh, yeah. A fizzy gun.”

A green blast exploded inside the cave. The amythest cracked. “greenscale, activate the hand army....” Greenscale grabbed enta by the neck. “i am tired of running after you for everything, you must die!” greenscale held his neck in a tight grip. “you typical snake-man! Always want to be in charge, don’t you? Agranna said i was in charge of the operation, and i am.” Enta growled and , ROAR! He turned greenscale into his other form. Viper. “i’ll get you for thisssssssssssssssss!” he spat.

Meanwhile, in the cave, dean was keeping the hands at bay. “did you have to drink almost all the ammo?” clement glugged it all down. “i couldn’t help it. It’s so nice and- oh, now i need a pee. I’m gonna go to the cave mouth, go to some public toilets maybe. Ahh, just thinking about it..” clement walked off. “there are no public toilets out here!” dean said, but clement had already gone. Clement got to the crystal, yet didn’t know it was there. He walked into it. “aw, ow! That really hurt..” he clutched his forehead. Greenscale, snake form, writhed about, outside. Greenscale, he was very clever, thought clement. He couldn’t be a snake. But he was. “dean! They trapped us in! Come and look!” dean heard. “yeah, somethin’ you should see too....” clement walked over. He was close, at the next turn, it was. “what? Anything, prob’ly small..” he saw dean. Enta was holding dean by the scruff of his neck, with a bone handle knife just resting on Dean’s neck. “you can’t be serious...” sixteen snake men, like greenscale, but red king cobra headed, and with claws. “redscales-hold him. I’ll deal with the newbie...”

Enta’s thoughts were cut short by a hiss. It was greenscale. “you traitor! Help monster kind, greenscale!” greenscale now looked like a 6 foot tall snake, no clothes on, with arms and legs. “i’m not a monster anymore. You treated me and the humans like dirt. If you can be that evil without trying- i’m not going to find out how evil i’m going to be. I’m with the humans. If anything can beat you, it’ll be me. Saddle up! It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Greenscale did a karate kick at Enta. But E nta was a monster, and it only made Greenscale’s foot throb. “oww!”

“ha, ha ha ha ha! You always was weak, wasn’t you?” growled Enta. “bad grammar!” snickered Clement. “don’t you laugh, primitive being. For i am king of the underworld, no entity can defy me. Do you hear me?” he shouted. “no one.” Dean had loosened the redscale’s grip, and punched it. Dean fell out of it’s grip, but rolled down the tunnels. He couldn’t stop, and fell down a steep one. “heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!” everyone heard a whack of tubby belly against rock. “ow!” then a redscale punched clement in the rib, and hopped off. Clement was unconscious, and dean was trapped in a tunnel. Could things get any worse?

Find out later, because, to be continued!

look! new blog arrives!

2009-02-09T20:24:00.003Z

*woohoo!* me and jakob have made a mega cool blog. here is the name..'fluy and mohawk's adventures!' it has hilarious videos, pics, and so much more!!! look at this ol' link for more details.
and i have found a brand new thing coming to my blog. get ready for a story i made up. all about, the monsters of the world. i made it up in dec' 2008. i've been writing it for ages, yet. it is..

coming soon..........
bye!

hi! then bye

2009-01-29T15:31:00.002Z

today i took some photos, not much but you know how it is. and also anyone can look at it. it is......... my new blog and should, since well, just do, duh. anyway-how-, you can also see the new stuff on all my blogs. and also try out demons the website. also look at locked i shall post more. hey! its on now!

hello hello hello

2009-01-28T21:17:00.002Z

hi! i have a strange title for this post, but i didn't manage to think of a good one so here is yer title.

hello all out there. there is a new blog coming.... it's URL will be something like.. i'll put it in another post. right now i gotta create a blog!

eyes of the night

2009-01-28T21:13:00.001Z

demons

2009-01-27T18:41:00.003Z

this is the best song ever, every one! (entitled eyes of the night by the starlight mints)
and you know it's the theme tune of demons! demons rocks! demons is on at 7. 45 PM on saturdays. there will only be 2 more episodes, so watch them while you can on itv catch up! there rea many types o' entity. here is my list of entities
(half lifes):
gladiolus thrip type 12, vampire, very clever, fake nose on his face
redlip has sharp teeeth wears black long coat and hat. has a monkey-like pet.
gilgamel pretends to be an angel, and kidnaps the innocent, like children
mr tibbs is a rat-human who experiments on humans.
i will stop now since i'm getting bored with it. join the demons 2009 forum!

and found this. on wiki. it says gladiolus thrip will come back in episode six.

a good blog

2009-01-27T18:38:00.001Z

look at this. if you forget the name of this post and can't find it, it's in the good blogs thing in the sidebar

welcome to the story post, here it is...

2009-01-27T08:34:00.002Z

this is not a mohawk story, or that kinda thing. it is...
THE TALE OF INPOSEA LOCH

once upon a wolf, on a burning hill in the summer, the flames lapped at the wolf, the wolf's fur was set on fire. there were many people nearby, who were chucking on water, so the fire turned to a lake, with a wolf's body at the bottom. the wolf was drowned, and scorched, but that didn't mean it wasn't alive....... it's body came back every evening to the surface, and pulled an unlucky human down. it would drown the human, and the human's body would be gnawed by the pirhanas , and only meat would be left, and the wolf would feast. they called the lake inposea loch, and it was built where a building is now, the building churchill square. a shopping centre, in brighton.

copyright leo rogers, 2009

a few more games!

2009-01-26T09:58:00.003Z

another game all of you!

2009-01-26T09:58:00.001Z

another game all!

2009-01-26T09:57:00.001Z

just another game!

2009-01-26T09:56:00.000Z

hi!

2009-01-26T09:53:00.001Z

hello everyone! mohawk's happy today.(duh) and if you don't know , it's monday. heres a game for all you people:

some boring stuff i found on wikipedia

2009-01-25T17:28:00.000Z

Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) is a communications protocol. Its use for retrieving inter-linked text documents (hypertext) led to the establishment of the World Wide Web.

HTTP development was coordinated by the World Wide Web Consortium and the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF), culminating in the publication of a series of Requests for Comments (RFCs), most notably RFC 2616 (June 1999), which defines HTTP/1.1, the version of HTTP in common use.

HTTP is a request/response standard between a client and a server. A client is the end-user, the server is the web site. The client making a HTTP request—using a web browser, spider, or other end-user tool—is referred to as the user agent. The responding server—which stores or creates resources such as HTML files and images—is called the origin server. In between the user agent and origin server may be several intermediaries, such as proxies, gateways, and tunnels. HTTP is not constrained to using TCP/IP and its supporting layers, although this is its most popular application on the Internet. Indeed HTTP can be "implemented on top of any other protocol on the Internet, or on other networks. HTTP only presumes a reliable transport; any protocol that provides such guarantees can be used."^[1]

Typically, an HTTP client initiates a request. It establishes a Transmission Control Protocol (TCP) connection to a particular port on a host (port 80 by default; see List of TCP and UDP port numbers). An HTTP server listening on that port waits for the client to send a request message. Upon receiving the request, the server sends back a status line, such as "HTTP/1.1 200 OK", and a message of its own, the body of which is perhaps the requested resource, an error message, or some other information.

HTTP predominantly uses TCP and not UDP because much data must be sent for a webpage, and TCP provides transmission control, presents the data in order, and provides error correction. See the difference between TCP and UDP.

Resources to be accessed by HTTP are identified using Uniform Resource Identifiers (URIs) (or, more specifically, Uniform Resource Locators (URLs)) using the http: or https URI schemes.

The TCP/IP model (RFC 1122)
Application Layer
BGP · DHCP · DNS · FTP · Gopher · GTP · HTTP · IMAP · IRC · NNTP · NTP · POP · RIP · RPC · RTCP · RTP · RTSP · SDP · SIP · SMTP · SNMP · SOAP · SSH · STUN · Telnet · TIME · TLS/SSL · XMPP · (more)
Transport Layer
TCP · UDP · DCCP · SCTP · RSVP · ECN · (more)
Internet Layer
IP (IPv4, IPv6) · ICMP · ICMPv6 · IGMP · IPsec · (more)
Link Layer
ARP · RARP · NDP · OSPF · Tunnels (L2TP) · Media Access Control (Ethernet, DSL, ISDN, FDDI) · Device Drivers · (more)
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[edit] Request message

The request message consists of the following:

Request line, such as GET /images/logo.gif HTTP/1.1, which requests a resource called /images/logo.gif from server
Headers, such as Accept-Language: en
An empty line
An optional message body

The request line and headers must all end with (that is, a carriage return followed by a line feed). The empty line must consist of only and no other whitespace. In the HTTP/1.1 protocol, all headers except Host are optional.

A request line containing only the path name is accepted by servers to maintain compatibility with HTTP clients before the HTTP/1.0 specification.

[edit] Request methods

A HTTP request made using telnet. The request, response headers and response body are highlighted.

HTTP defines eight methods (sometimes referred to as "verbs") indicating the desired action to be performed on the identified resource. What this resource represents, whether pre-existing data or data that is generated dynamically, depends on the implementation of the server. Often, the resource corresponds to a file or the output of an executable residing on the server.

HEAD: Asks for the response identical to the one that would correspond to a GET request, but without the response body. This is useful for retrieving meta-information written in response headers, without having to transport the entire content.
GET: Requests a representation of the specified resource. Note that GET should not be used for operations that cause side-effects, such as using it for taking actions in web applications. One reason for this is that GET may be used arbitrarily by robots or crawlers, which should not need to consider the side effects that a request should cause. See safe methods below.
POST: Submits data to be processed (e.g., from an HTML form) to the identified resource. The data is included in the body of the request. This may result in the creation of a new resource or the updates of existing resources or both.
PUT: Uploads a representation of the specified resource.
DELETE: Deletes the specified resource.
TRACE: Echoes back the received request, so that a client can see what intermediate servers are adding or changing in the request.
OPTIONS: Returns the HTTP methods that the server supports for specified URL. This can be used to check the functionality of a web server by requesting '*' instead of a specific resource.
CONNECT: Converts the request connection to a transparent TCP/IP tunnel, usually to facilitate SSL-encrypted communication (HTTPS) through an unencrypted HTTP proxy.^[2]

HTTP servers are required to implement at least the GET and HEAD methods^[3] and, whenever possible, also the OPTIONS method.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] Safe methods

Some methods (for example, HEAD, GET, OPTIONS and TRACE) are defined as safe, which means they are intended only for information retrieval and should not change the state of the server. In other words, they should not have side effects, beyond relatively harmless effects such as logging, caching, the serving of banner advertisements or incrementing a web counter. Making arbitrary GET requests without regard to the context of the application's state should therefore be considered safe.

By contrast, methods such as POST, PUT and DELETE are intended for actions which may cause side effects either on the server, or external side effects such as financial transactions or transmission of email. Such methods are therefore not usually used by conforming web robots or web crawlers, which tend to make requests without regard to context or consequences.

Despite the prescribed safety of GET requests, in practice their handling by the server is not technically limited in any way, and careless or deliberate programming can just as easily (or more easily, due to lack of user agent precautions) cause non-trivial changes on the server. This is discouraged, because it can cause problems for Web caching, search engines and other automated agents, which can make unintended changes on the server.

[edit] Idempotent methods and web applications

Methods PUT and DELETE are defined to be idempotent, meaning that multiple identical requests should have the same effect as a single request. Methods GET, HEAD, OPTIONS and TRACE, being prescribed as safe, should also be idempotent. HTTP is a stateless protocol.

By contrast, the POST method is not necessarily idempotent, and therefore sending an identical POST request multiple times may further affect state or cause further side effects (such as financial transactions). In some cases this may be desirable, but in other cases this could be due to an accident, such as when a user does not realize that their action will result in sending another request, or they did not receive adequate feedback that their first request was successful. While web browsers may show alert dialog boxes to warn users in some cases where reloading a page may re-submit a POST request, it is generally up to the web application to take responsibility for handling cases where a POST request should not be submitted more than once.

Note that whether a method is idempotent is not enforced by the protocol or web server. It is perfectly possible to write a web application in which (for example) a database insert or other non-idempotent action is triggered by a GET or other request. Ignoring this recommendation, however, may result in undesirable consequences if a user agent assumes that repeating the same request is safe when it isn't.

[edit] HTTP versions

HTTP has evolved into multiple, mostly backwards-compatible protocol versions. RFC 2145 describes the use of HTTP version numbers. The client tells in the beginning of the request the version it uses, and the server uses the same or earlier version in the response.

HTTP/0.9 (1991): Deprecated. Supports only one command, GET, which does not specify the HTTP version. Does not support headers. Since this version does not support POST, the information a client can pass to the server is limited by the URL length.
HTTP/1.0 (May 1996): This is the first protocol revision to specify its version in communications and is still in wide use, especially by proxy servers.
HTTP/1.1 (1997-1999)^[4]^[5]: Current version; persistent connections enabled by default and works well with proxies. Also supports request pipelining, allowing multiple requests to be sent at the same time, allowing the server to prepare for the workload and potentially transfer the requested resources more quickly to the client.
HTTP/1.2: The initial 1995 working drafts of the document PEP—an Extension Mechanism for HTTP (which proposed the Protocol Extension Protocol, abbreviated PEP) were prepared by the World Wide Web Consortium and submitted to the Internet Engineering Task Force. PEP was originally intended to become a distinguishing feature of HTTP/1.2.^[6] In later PEP working drafts, however, the reference to HTTP/1.2 was removed. The experimental RFC 2774, HTTP Extension Framework, largely subsumed PEP. It was published in February 2000.

The major changes between HTTP/1.0 and HTTP/1.1 include the way HTTP handles caching; how it optimizes bandwidth and network connections usage, manages error notifications; how it transmits messages over the network; how internet addresses are conserved; and how it maintains security and integrity.^[7]

HTTP
Persistence · Compression · SSL
Headers
ETag · Cookie · Referrer
Status codes
200 OK
207 Multi-Status
301 Moved permanently
302 Found
303 See Other
403 Forbidden
404 Not Found
500 Internal Server Error
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[edit] Status codes

See also: List of HTTP status codes

In HTTP/1.0 and since, the first line of the HTTP response is called the status line and includes a numeric status code (such as "404") and a textual reason phrase (such as "Not Found"). The way the user agent handles the response primarily depends on the code and secondarily on the response headers. Custom status codes can be used since, if the user agent encounters a code it does not recognize, it can use the first digit of the code to determine the general class of the response.^[8]

Also, the standard reason phrases are only recommendations and can be replaced with "local equivalents" at the web developer's discretion. If the status code indicated a problem, the user agent might display the reason phrase to the user to provide further information about the nature of the problem. The standard also allows the user agent to attempt to interpret the reason phrase, though this might be unwise since the standard explicitly specifies that status codes are machine-readable and reason phrases are human-readable

[edit] Persistent connections

Main article: HTTP persistent connections

In HTTP/0.9 and 1.0, the connection is closed after a single request/response pair. In HTTP/1.1 a keep-alive-mechanism was introduced, where a connection could be reused for more than one request.

Such persistent connections reduce lag perceptibly, because the client does not need to re-negotiate the TCP connection after the first request has been sent.

Version 1.1 of the protocol made bandwidth optimization improvements to HTTP/1.0. For example, HTTP/1.1 introduced chunked transfer encoding to allow content on persistent connections to be streamed, rather than buffered. HTTP pipelining further reduces lag time, allowing clients to send multiple requests before a previous response has been received to the first one. Another improvement to the protocol was byte serving, which is when a server transmits just the portion of a resource explicitly requested by a client.

[edit] HTTP session state

HTTP is a stateless protocol. The advantage of a stateless protocol is that hosts do not need to retain information about users between requests, but this forces web developers to use alternative methods for maintaining users' states. For example, when a host needs to customize the content of a website for a user, the web application must be written to track the user's progress from page to page. A common method for solving this problem involves sending and receiving cookies. Other methods include server side sessions, hidden variables (when the current page is a form), and URL encoded parameters (such as /index.php?session_id=some_unique_session_code).

[edit] Secure HTTP

There are currently two methods of establishing a secure HTTP connection: the https URI scheme and the HTTP 1.1 Upgrade header, introduced by RFC 2817. Browser support for the Upgrade header is, however, nearly non-existent, hence the https URI scheme is still the dominant method of establishing a secure HTTP connection.

[edit] HTTPS URI scheme

Main article: HTTPS

HTTPS: is a URI scheme syntactically identical to the http: scheme used for normal HTTP connections, but which signals the browser to use an added encryption layer of SSL/TLS to protect the traffic. SSL is especially suited for HTTP since it can provide some protection even if only one side of the communication is authenticated. This is the case with HTTP transactions over the Internet, where typically only the server is authenticated (by the client examining the server's certificate).

[edit] HTTP 1.1 Upgrade header

HTTP 1.1 introduced support for the Upgrade header. In the exchange, the client begins by making a clear-text request, which is later upgraded to TLS. Either the client or the server may request (or demand) that the connection be upgraded. The most common usage is a clear-text request by the client followed by a server demand to upgrade the connection, which looks like this:

Client:

GET /encrypted-area HTTP/1.1
Host: www.example.com

Server:

HTTP/1.1 426 Upgrade Required
Upgrade: TLS/1.0, HTTP/1.1
Connection: Upgrade

The server returns a 426 status-code because 400 level codes indicate a client failure (see List of HTTP status codes), which correctly alerts legacy clients that the failure was client-related.

The benefits of using this method for establishing a secure connection are:

that it removes messy and problematic redirection and URL rewriting on the server side,
it allows virtual hosting of secured websites (although HTTPS also allows this using Server Name Indication), and
it reduces user confusion by providing a single way to access a particular resource.

A weakness with this method is that the requirement for a secure HTTP cannot be specified in the URI. In practice, the (untrusted) server will thus be responsible for enabling secure HTTP, not the (trusted) client.

Sample

Below is a sample conversation between an HTTP client and an HTTP server running on www.example.com, port 80.

Client request (followed by a blank line, so that request ends with a double newline, each in the form of a carriage return followed by a line feed):

 GET /index.html HTTP/1.1
Host: www.example.com

The "Host" header distinguishes between various DNS names sharing a single IP address, allowing name-based virtual hosting. While optional in HTTP/1.0, it is mandatory in HTTP/1.1.

Server response (followed by a blank line and text of the requested page):

 HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Date: Mon, 23 May 2005 22:38:34 GMT
Server: Apache/1.3.3.7 (Unix)  (Red-Hat/Linux)
Last-Modified: Wed, 08 Jan 2003 23:11:55 GMT
Etag: "3f80f-1b6-3e1cb03b"
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 438
Connection: close
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8

The ETag (entity tag) header is used to determine if the URI cached is identical to the requested URI on the server. Content-Type specifies the Internet media type of the data conveyed by the http message, while Content-Length indicates its length in bytes. The HTTP/1.1 webserver publishes its ability to respond to requests for certain byte ranges of the document by setting the header Accept-Ranges: bytes. This is useful if the client needs to have only certain portions^[9] of a resource sent by the server, which is called byte serving. When Connection: close is sent in a header, it means that the web server will close the TCP connection immediately after the transfer of this package.

[edit] See also

[edit] References

^ Fielding, et al. "Internet RFC 2616.", section 1.4. Retrieved on January 21, 2009.
^ "Vulnerability Note VU#150227: HTTP proxy default configurations allow arbitrary TCP connections". US-CERT (2002-05-17). Retrieved on 2007-05-10.
^ HTTP 1.1 Section 5.1.1
^ First release of HTTP/1.1 specification is dated January 1997 RFC 2068
^ Latest release of HTTP/1.1 specification is dated June 1999 RFC 2616
^ PEP: An Extension Mechanism for HTTP. Quote: "For experimental purposes, PEP-compatibility is equated with HTTP/1.2."
^ AT&T research on HTTP 1.0 and 1.1.
^ 6.1 Status-Line
^ draft-ietf-http-range-retrieval-00 - Byte Range Retrieval Extension to HTTP

[edit] External links

[hide] v • d • e Semantic Web

Background	World Wide Web · Internet · Databases · Semantic networks · Ontologies

Sub-topics	Linked Data · Data Web · Hyperdata · Dereferenceable URIs · Ontologies · Rule bases · Data Spaces

Related Topics	Web 2.0 · Web 3.0 · Plain Old Semantic HTML · Search engine optimization · Open Database Connectivity · References · Information architecture · Knowledge management · Collective intelligence · Topic Maps · XML · Description logic

Standards	Syntax & Supporting Technologies : RDF (Notation 3 · Turtle · N-Triples) · SPARQL · URI · HTTP · XML Schemas, Ontologies & Rules : RDFS · OWL · Rule Interchange Format · Semantic Web Rule Language Semantic Annotation : RDFa · eRDF · GRDDL · Microformats Common Vocabularies : FOAF · SIOC · Dublin Core · SKOS

People	Tim Berners-Lee · James Hendler · Ora Lassila · Kingsley Idehen · Nigel Shadbolt · Wendy Hall

Key Semantic Web Organizations	W3C · WSRI · MIT · OpenLink Software · Talis Group · ClearForest · University of Southampton · DERI

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Ab

the sidebar stuff!

2009-01-25T17:06:00.002Z

finally i have a website! (NOT A BLOG) in the sidebar i have games, intro post for new people to my site, and a link to blogger for people to make their own, and.....see for yourself.

games

2009-01-25T16:59:00.002Z

there are six games to choose from. 1: simple. you have to get some blu tack. get 2 little orbs of it, and give one to a friend. you chuck one as far as you can, then your friend does the same. do this three times and the chucker who chucks the most furthest wins! 2: get 1 pair of headphones. try to shake them off. 3: scrabble. 4:get a remote control for a TV. then get a small plastic obgect, and a large slab of blu tac. now juggle them, and get loads of friends to do the same all at the same time, and if you drop anything, you're out! the winner is the last person left juggling at the end. 5:check out the lego website's games. 6:check out dav pilkey's games.

another post-hi

2009-01-25T12:53:00.002Z

well, last night allie and dani who have a blog had some people around for a "ladies scrabble night"
as they call it, and that sounds like something off little britain! anyway, though, now wait a sec! a lil change of plan for a bit of this post- pearly guest starring. she writes in red (and purple!). hiya! this is my blog: inside an oyster shell im going round to sian's house later then me and sian are coming back here and making fake lemon curd with Leo(the author of this blog, silly!)
i'm now leo, everyone. also last night at the scrabble thing all the people drunk loads of beer. allie drunk 2 bottles of beer. anyway, though, i got a book about giants, you'll already know probbly, and also they had some vegan snacks for a vegan person who came. (if it sounds rude, soz, it's not meant to be, it's true!) all the people there were women and i saw some lil child shoes that weren't mine in amongst the shoes- mystery shoes! and i had appletiser. appletiser is a yum fizzy fruit juice drink. and i saw demons!! the most recent episode included the ultra mega cool vampires-type 12- and revealed that mina was a vampire! also this is a blog i just discovered which is cool. jad's. click here to look at it.